Night God's Redemption
by Cloudydaze27
Summary: Everything had been lost to Light; his life, his sanity and most importantly his justice. With a second chance to live again with a price, and a death note in his grasp, what will become of him. Eventual L/Light. Au,OC, swearing and harsh themes later on
1. Chapter 1

This is an AU story of Raito basically going into the past where he can meet L and hopefully find a justice to define himself. There are going to be some things that are in the original story but then there will be things that I just make up, ahh the divine right of the author no? Lol, but you read anything you like or don't please review, I'd prefer constructive criticism than outright slander. Sorry if there are any typos or grammar problems but I'm not a professional, I'll try my best to make it readable but otherwise this is just story among millions I wanted to write. Also, suggestions are appreciated.

There will be an eventual pairing of L/Raito (probably not for a long time), so if that bugs you then I suggest you take yourself elsewhere. One last note is that I like the anime and the manga so I'll be using both as a muse.

Disclaimer: I do not own DeathNote, Takeshi Obata and Tsugumi Ohba do. I do this purely for entertainment and do not profit from it. As if I could. lol

**Night God's Redemption**

**Chapter one**

_"I am justice"_

The three words that damned me and defined me.

_"All humans are equal in death"_

I didn't want to die, I knew that from the start but I never realized how much I wanted to live.

_"Light-kun is my very first friend."_

Was that just another lie or did he mean that? Who knows, because everything that came out of that guy was just nonsense anyway. Everything doesn't matter anymore. I lost, simple as that, and now I'm dead or at least I think I am. Floating in the nothingness that is Mu, thanks to the idiot shinigami named Ryuk. This place is devoid of feeling or color, like a blissful sleep in the absence of dreams or nightmares.

How many years have past in this hellhole? It's almost frustrating to think I'll never have an answer. I suppose the only thing that really matters is that I have all of time to think on my sins now. That's what they were, sins right, all the acts I have done as Kira. The sheer amount of people I have killed in my quest for justice, do I regret it? That must be the million dollar question, and I don't know the answer...again. I was right wasn't I? Humans were suffering under the evil filth that dominated everyday life. I stopped wars, reduced crime rates and acts of terrorism, all of this must out way the crimes I have committed.

The twelve FBI. Shame littered my conscience at the thought. Were they really meant to die? The good guy always finishes last in the world, like my father who died before I did. The justice my father taught me was that the definition of bad and good is easily visible in the acts of others and that justice was achieved in the laws of man. It was wrong as I had found out on his computer one day, the criminals always get away. His justice wasn't strong enough or I was not taught well enough. What else could explain how I have became so thoroughly tainted.

There is so much blood. It's all here in my hands, pooling beyond my fingertips into the abyss. I was wrong wasn't I? I was wrong, so then what is right? Was it That insufferable L and his man of mystery justice. He isn't any better than I am and everything is his fault anyway. It all would have gone according to plan if that man hadn't existed. If he didn't exist.

What am I talking about...I don't even exist anymore. There's no point in getting worked up. I lost just as he did, but he had one thing survive, didn't he. His name still exists with Near, his justice is still there on earth. Is mine? Near is still alive, and continuing the ground work of L started for his legacy. What am I left with? Doubts, and insecurities. I left no one to carry on my work, the people cannot possibly do it, only I am qualified! So that's it then, the conclusion of it all. L still lives and I have died. It was pitiable to even think or even admit it. In the chess game we played where I had thought to have checked L, he simply feinted and claimed his own win over me in the end, because my peons were useless. Mikami was useless, it must have been my biggest mistake to rely on that fool, and people wonder why I never confided in others. They were all useless in the end weren't they?

Stop. I'll go mad with this endless repetition. A snake that bites it's tail can only eat itself, so I have to let go. Just think of nothing and become a part of it.

Nothing...nothing...nothing.

Nothing.

"Humans are so foolish."

What?

"Light or should I say Kira" The amused voice whispered, "I have need of you so come back."

I had no time to question as what felt like a bolt of lightening shocked my senses. Need of me to comeback where? A feeling of vertigo hit me as sensations exploded the world into reality. My body slammed into the earth as the dust rose to my sudden arrival. The air left my lungs at the contact and I felt air leave me in a rush. Shakily I lifted my upper body from the sand so that I could steady myself, but the world kept spinning in my eyes. The humid air wouldn't fill my needy lungs as I gasped for it. I was breathing too fast, and my mind raced. I was panicking. It was too much, my sudden awareness of life was like I had just been birthed into the world once more. The hot sand warming my naked body and sheer essence of that feeling racked my nerves. I needed to calm down or else I would pass out. Where was I? No time to think about that. I turned myself over to face a dull gray sky overhead and blinked. In a last ditch effort for some kind of familiarity I rested my hand against my neck. A steady but beating pulse answered my inquiring fingers and I closed my eyes. Silently I counted the number of beats in a minute. I was alive, this was proof of that. My labored breath finally slowed down and I waited for the remaining dizziness to pass before I attempted anything.

Sighing, I finally took the chance to raise myself from the ground, the sand shifted to form against my legs and fitted between my toes. My head still tingled slightly but I ignored it. I couldn't complain about the complete grayness of the landscape before me. It was dull and almost as lifeless as Mu, but the lightened shade was comforting to my eyes. It stank of death but that was to be expected with the skeletons that covered the land. Whether they were human or animal I didn't know or care to inspect it at the moment. I might be the only human alive in this forsaken land but at least I was here. I wanted to laugh but my burning throat halted that. If I started I might not have stopped anyway, was it my final curse to be reborn on such a dead earth.

Feeling defeated, I slumped into the sand laying eagle spread on it's surface. I stretched out my arms to their fullest extent and I almost had the childish notion to make an angel in the sand. I swept my arm, shifting the sediments and burying my hand into the grounds warmth. I found that a little funny though because there was no sun as far as I could see here. So how was it warm? I puzzled over this for a few seconds before I felt something, a sharp corner of an object that felt familiar somehow. Sluggishly I dug to uncover the object, flicking the sand away one-handedly in a direction away from my body. I didn't look at my progress, and really I could care less for the item. Digging was more a form of distraction than anything else right now. What worth could it possibly have anyway?

"Ah!"

I winced slightly as I instinctively soothed the sting of my finger with my mouth. The coppery taste of my cut faded as I sucked my fingertip. I paused briefly to inspect it and froze.

"A...a paper cut?" I stated dumbly.

That was all I needed to spring into action. Frantically, I dug into the tiny hole for the item that had cut me. It had to be impossible, it just had to, or fate was more cruel than I had thought. Time was moving slowly as I inched away the sand, though the beat of heart seemed to increase and the feeling in my limbs was slowly escaping me. The black corner was all I needed to see before I wrenched it free from its confinement. Streams of sand leaked from its looseleaf pages as I gripped it tightly in my hands. The black cover stared up at me, mocking me, with sharp white letters printed boldly on its front:

DEATHNOTE

"Deathnote." I whispered slowly.

This couldn't be real. The tremors that ran through my hands shook my entire body, and a heaviness wanted to weigh down my heart into my stomach. This couldn't be real.

"So you already found one Light"

I willed not to react after I heard that voice, which surprised me. If I had ever met him again I thought I would be enraged but the dread welling up inside told me otherwise. With as much control and dignity as I could manage with my exposed body, I stood and paused to brush the sand from my knees. And then I turned to the Shinigami as if it was just another day in my house, when I deigned to answer another of his annoying questions.

"Hello Ryuk," I said calmly, "nice to see you again."

Ryuk laughed, "Hyuk, hyuk, nothing ever scares you does it Light?"

I wanted to say no definitively but that would have backfired on me. After my pathetic last moments at Ryuk's feet and begging for my own life, I couldn't reply so arrogantly. So I quirked a smile mysteriously at him and raised the Deathnote along with my eyebrow.

"Yours?" I asked.

"No, I don't know whose that is," Said Ryuk, "some idiot probably dropped it while playing dice. The shinigami of this world are so pathetic. Playing for nothing, and even forgetting to enter names when they need to extend their time. They're all still so rotten and boring, not like you humans who scramble around doing loads of interesting things. That's how I started entertaining myself with you in the first place, eh Light. We both had that in common. The boredom. Too bad you couldn't keep me entertained through your whole life."

I glared intensely at him and questioned, "I'm in the Shinigami world?"

"That's what I said." He said.

"How?" I asked.

I couldn't disguise my impatience with the carefree attitude he always maintained. The only thing Ryuk ever really bothered to get excited over were apples. Ryuk shrugged. Of course, what did he really expect as an answer.

"Well it's time to go," Said Ryuk, his wings extended out from his back, "the old man must be getting impatient by now."

"Bye then." I said, the sooner Ryuk was out of my sight the better.

Ryuk laughed and I gave him a sharp look. "Light your coming with me."

I stepped away from the Ryuk's hand as he reached for me. "Don't even think about it."

"Aw c'mon Light, don't be like that." Said Ryuk, "We're friends aren't we?"

Backing away I laughed in the Shinigami's face. As melodramatic as it sounded, I would rather die then go anywhere with Ryuk. For a moment I was tempted to write Ryuk's name in the Deathnote just to see if anything would happen, even though nothing would happen. I doubted I could spare the blood anyway, if the way my legs trembled was any indication. Ryuk dropped his hand, his wings popped out of his back and extended to their fullest length.

"The old man is very impatient, Light." He stated again.

That was the only warning I received before he launched at me. Desperately, I dove to my right, but the Shinigami's arms were far reaching. He clamped a cold hand on my ankle and launched upwards. The sand gave way in my hand and I was lifted by the unsteady beat of Ryuk's wings. An indignant cry escaped my throat at the humiliation of being upside down and not to mention naked. Ryuk's body hung in a weird posture in flight which enabled me to use his leg as leverage to kick his hand. There was no way I could endure this. I twisted my ankle with little success in Ryuk's grip as I felt blood rushing to my head. The only thing I had actually managed to do was get Ryuk to tighten his grip. Growling, I noticed I'd somehow kept a hold of the useless Deathnote. I stopped struggling and looked up at the Shinigami's face. He was distracted with flying, and it seemed like I didn't have the strength to make him release me. Then it hit me, it was a stupid idea given how far I was from the ground, but I didn't care. Rationality was something I had lost a while ago. I waited for a moment when Ryuk's wing beats ceased and he gilded, before I struck. Taking aim, I threw the Deathnote as hard as I could at Ryuk's face.

I was rewarded with Ryuk's shocked face a second before the looseleaf pages smacked into him. Triumph filled me as his grip loosened and I fell. I never even had time to feel dread or scream as the ground rushed to meet me, and darkness once again enveloped me.

* * *

"Really you are so incompetent." Said a deep and aged voice.

Hadn't I heard that voice before.

"Hey he went crazy and threw the Deathnote at me and I didn't expect it since he was so weak. I always forget not to underestimate him." Laughed Ryuk.

Oh great I entertained the airhead Shinigami I thought bitterly. I scrunched my eyes when I felt the a twinge of pain in the back of my head, hopefully I wouldn't get a concussion. I felt a prominent bump at the start of my hairline, but at the least I hadn't cracked my skull and there wasn't any blood.

Ryuk was bent over me, his eyes looked at me with what I gaged was amusement. "It's your own fault, but I have to admit you surprised me."

He waved the Deathnote teasingly in front of my face. Irritably, I snatched it from him as he continued to chuckle. Of course it had been a futile attempt to escape, but it was an attempt that mattered to me. Who could ever tolerate that kind of humiliation conscientiously. I sat up a little straighter, crossing my legs and placed the Deathnote in my lap. The pain had subsided to a tolerable level, and I experienced only a little dizziness.

I was in a large underground cavern somewhere, but oddly it wasn't completely dark. There was an eerie illumination encompassing the cave that didn't quite reach the roof. For some reason it bothered me.

"Welcome Kira." Said the familiar disembodied voice.

I had heard it before, back when I first came to this world and met Ryuk. The voice that had greeted my arrival was here.

"Who-" I started.

"The old man." Ryuk interrupted, "He's actually King of the Shinigami realm but I think calling him 'old man' sounds much more fatherly."

"Ryuk..." The king warned.

"Hyuk, hyuk," Ryuk chuckled, "well he's the one that dragged you outta Mu."

Dragged me out of Mu for what?, I thought.

"Yes Kira, when Ryuk's Deathnote told me your story I was very impressed. The sheer amount of lives you have stripped in only a few short years would do any Shinigami proud. Though that kind of dedication would decimate the earth's population which is why humans should be thankful my children are so lazy. The amount you have taken would fill the lives of several Shinigami"

I felt no pride whatsoever to his comment that I might once have secretly felt. Sacrificing myself to better humanity had taken too much away from me.

"You must be wondering why I called for you? After all, I didn't bring you here to compliment you." The king said, he was trying to catch my interest and it worked. "I control everything in this realm: the Shinigami, the Deathnotes, and Mu. So when I heard of your escapades I quickly summoned Ryuk who let me borrow his notebook in order to learn more about you. It's pages tell a thrilling tale in my view, and I was intrigued. Luckily I was able to find your conscientiousness in the deep recesses of Mu and place you in your original body, before you dissolved."

Dissolve? "That still doesn't explain-"

"Ah you are a quick one. You see as the god of death I cannot simply take the lives of humans to extend my life. I require more sustenance then they can offer. So every few millennia one of my children will offer themselves to me as well as the accumulation of the human lives they have collected throughout their life. As king it is my gift to take."

I didn't like where this was going.

The king continued. " And the amount of life you have collected with the ownership of two Deathnotes is astounding, as I have said. It is not very often a morsel such as you comes along."

I resisted the urge to gulp. It was just great to be thought of as a tasty treat to some million year old monster that had to spoil it's dinner. So I pointed out his one flaw. "I am not a Shinigami."

"You see the problem, but there are always ways around rules aren't there. It is true for everything." Said the Shinigami king, " As a human I cannot consume you, but since you are a Deathnote user I can bypass this rule with your consent."

"What makes you think I would give it." I said angrily.

Suddenly it felt like there was a looming presence over my shoulder.

"You must have regrets," It whispered, "every user of the Deathnote is destined a cursed fate after the first victim. Wouldn't you like to live again? It wouldn't be the same one but it would be a life. Ryuk has told me, before your encounter you had at least 50 years left."

I could feel my heart beating in my chest. It had to be impossible, there was no way I could live again on earth could I? Then again what was I doing now.

"I think it is a small price to wait a couple decades to consume your life, and all you would have to do is live and die again."

It sounded good, too good to be true. "But-," I said skeptically, "you said it wouldn't be the same life, and how do I know you just won't order Ryuk to kill me."

"Distrustful as ever," Chastised the king, "I would not kill you, any action like that on my part would make the deal void and I wouldn't be able to consume you. It is also impossible for me to interfere with human history to such as an extent as to replace your former self. You will live but so will your former self that will become Kira."

"There will be two of me!" I said incredulously.

"I wouldn't worry Light," Said Ryuk who had floated of to the side somewhere, "the television said there are people who look almost exactly alike in the world, eh?"

Nodding, I was still anxious, "It's still not the same."

"Your right of course," Said the King, "Two exact entities cannot exist in the same world. That is why you will be getting your own Deathnote, and I don't mean ownership, I mean a Deathnote that is a part of you."

"How is that even possible?" I asked.

"It can be done." He said simply, "You will also have to follow the same rules and, to some extent, the same punishments as a Shinigami. It will be like you are an honorary member more than anything."

"What if someone else gets a hold of the Deathnote?" I said slightly alarmed.

"Well then you will just have to be careful. I'm sure you can manage it." Said the King, "So do we have a deal?"

The last word seemed drawn out with the King's anticipation. I stared at a grove my foot had made in the sand where I was still sitting. If I said no, what would likely happen? I would end up in Mu again and dissolve into nothingness. The thought made my chest feel tight and numb, but would going along with the King be any better. Where my fate was sealed at my death to be eaten like some animal. The crutch of the Deathnote was not an appealing prospect either, but as long as I was alive I had options. I could find a way out of the contract and live a full life. I could find a way, even with my former self alive in the world because I am Light Yagami. I am a genius, on par.. no, exceeding the great L and I could do it.

"There is also one thing you should know," Interrupted the King, "if you should happen to be recognized by your counterpart then your side of the contract is null and void, and you will die at once."

"I understand," I said evenly, "and I accept."

"Then we have a deal." Said the King proudly, "now there is the matter of the time and place."

"Hm?"

"For your descent to earth, I will place you anywhere you wish except Japan." Said the King.

_...my first friend.._

"England." I said without thought,perhaps a first in a long time.

"Very well." The King said to my horror.

England? I said, England! It wasn't like I was going to be in a very good situation anywhere else but I said England because of some stupid comment L had once said. Though I doubted he wasn't a junior champion in England, since he was a very good tennis player. What made me say that? It was then I noticed the illumination was brightening, and every part of the cave was finally visible. Gazing upward I found the owner of the disembodied voice who covered the whole area of the caves ceiling. A giant skull was in the center of a mosaic of smaller ones, they decorated every part of the roof. Rotting flesh was still hanging onto several, while others were broken. The soulless eyes of every one stared at me, would I become another head on this thing. I was holding my breath, a stench I hadn't noticed before was making me sick; the rotten flesh. Covering my mouth, my eyes widened to their widest extent and I backed away a little. The unholy aura secreted by this creature filled me with some unexplainable terror on a very basic level. There was no way to survive in its presence.

"It is quite shocking at first, isn't it Light," Said the huge skull, it's teeth clacking slightly, "though you have no reason to be afraid because at your death you will be a part of something magnanimous."

I felt Ryuk gripping my shoulder suddenly and I jumped. "For the Deathnote to be a part of you, you must be a part of us."

I couldn't stop staring and exhaling was starting to become difficult as my breath grew heavy. A tendril, black as night, slithered from the mouth of the skull like a snake. As it neared me I tried to back away but Ryuk halted me, his laugh was mocking me in my ear. There are worst things than death, maybe I was about to experience one. As the tendril reached me it slowly curled around my arm and I shuddered at the slimy feeling it's presence elicited from me. Finally it had come to it's destination, pointed straight at my heart like a knife and I froze. I couldn't breathe anymore, this would kill me I thought despairingly.

"Until we meet again Light." Said the King eerily.

Then it struck. The tendril pierced into my chest through my heart and I screamed. There was nothing but a blinding pain that eclipsed being shot, or stabbed, or anything humanely possible. Spasms ran throughout my body as everything started to go black, my vision was leaving me and Ryuk's face laughed soundlessly. It would be alright, I thought as a surprisingly calmness filled me. A black tendril leaked into me and so did the disgusting essence of what must be a Shinigami entered me. It would still be alright.

"_Light-kun is my first friend."_

Mine too, I thought finally. An odd thought to end with as everything faded into nothing.

* * *

Well there you go, it's Chapter 1!! Yeah!! If this interested you then read more please, but I have to warn you that this story is not going to be as predictable as you think. He will wake up where? And in what state? Not just naked if your being simple. Lol. K, that's all for no

So, TBC.


	2. Chapter 2

Well Well, here it is the next chapter. Thanks to all who have reviewed, it really gets me going. And no L is not here yet, he'll come soon...yep soon lol. But anyway enjoy the chapter,I still have a ways to go so enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note

**Chapter Two**

Waking up was not my favorite part of the day. In the comfort of your own home, you tolerate it as a necessary function in order to start the day. So you murder your alarm clock, have some heavenly coffee and eat away the morning; then it's over and forgotten. But car horns angrily beeping, the cold bed of cement, and rain falling onto your uncovered back did not help. This was the worst experience I've had waking up, at least when I had been in a cell it had been sheltered.

"Ugh" My head was pounding, great.

"Hyuk, Hyuk." Ryuk was laughing over at me again. He was doing that a lot recently.

"Ryuk?" I slurred, "Ugh-"

I slumped further into the cement hoping to disappear. Just let me lie here and die now so this miserable feeling goes away. I can't die though, another voice interjected, that creepy king would eat me. Gasping, I jolted awake and sat up. Ryuk was floating over me watching my progress, why was he still here in the first place. Behind him there were dark gray clouds that almost made me think I was in the Shinigami world, but a screeching car in the distance assured me otherwise. Thankfully, there weren't any people in the dirty alleyway except a few mice who were peeking out of a garbage can. Maybe they were wondering why I was still sitting in the soaking rain. It didn't make any difference now that my whole body felt wet, I wouldn't be surprised if my insides were damp. Shivering, I got up and rubbed my arms, but any type of friction was impossible at this point and thus so was any semblance of warmth. I was gaining a habit of doing useless things it seemed, which was stupid in itself and unlike me. The shivering continued to vibrate all over my body, I wouldn't be surprised if my teeth starting chattering soon. My brain must have been water logged too if I'm seriously just standing here. Convulsing suddenly I sneezed. Lovely.

Weren't my arms longer than this? My hands are small, I thought as I lifted them in front of me.. Panicked, I checked the rest of me, my legs weren't long and my face...it felt like a child's face.

"Ryuk," I shouted, my voice sounded higher, "What the hell did the old man do?"

"Language," He chastised me,"your not allowed to curse anymore Light."

"Shut up!" I yelled.

"Hm...very mature Light though I think it fits your new image." He laughed.

"Just answer me." I demanded.

"The clock has jumped backwards." He said. As if I didn't know that.

"This isn't what I expected!" I gestured to myself.

Ryuk laughed, "You didn't think you'd comeback as a 23 year old? If you go back in time, then so does your body. I thought that would be obvious especially for someone as smart as you. Just be glad your mind isn't chasing after toy cars."

"What year is it?" I asked.

"Dunno, but I can find out for you if you get me an apple." Said Ryuk excitedly.

The Shinigami was always a dreamer. Right now I had nothing, absolutely nothing. No money, shelter, or even an identity really. I didn't even know what year it was but judging from my youthful visage, I could be anywhere from nine to twelve years old. I couldn't even hope to get a job like this unless there had been a change in child labor laws. And to top it all off I was still naked.

The rain was pouring harder now making bullets that ricocheted off the pavement. Quickly, I took shelter in a doorway and cursed the weather. I could deal with all the technicalities later, right now I needed clothes. Right now there didn't seem to be many options available to me. Wearing a wet paper bag from the trash bin, and begging for assistance didn't appeal to me. That'd be a great sideliner in the local news: Paper bag prince spotted in alleyway, fact or fiction?

"Your useless," I told the Shinigami, "what are you still doing here anyway, you've done your job."

"I want an apple." He moaned, doing flips in the air.

Tired of his games I examined the red door behind me, and there was a sign with the name: 'Blair's Boutique' written in cursive. Finally I had something go my way. Testing the knob, I jiggled it a few times, it was locked. Of course, I didn't really expect anything less but I didn't have anything to pick it. Water dripped from my hair onto my face, and I sighed. At this rate I would die before the first day was out. Since the weather was so dreary I couldn't determine the time or even what city I was in. The only thing I could depend on was that I was somewhere in England.

"Ryuk," I said, "I'll get you an apple later if you open this door."

"Huh?" He said dumbly, "Sure but you got to promise Light."

"I'll get you one so don't worry, just open the door." I ordered.

"So bossy-" The Shinigami complained but he flew through the door anyway.

A click and it was open. He had caved into my demands almost too easily, but he was probably still hanging around to see what I would do. That was a habit I was actually grateful for, not that I would admit it. Carefully I opened the door, it creaked a little as I opened it so I could see a sliver of the inside. It was a normal back room filled with boxes and a garbage resting by the doorway that someone had forgotten to throw out. I waited, listening for any sign of an electronic alarm, after a few minutes I carefully walked in and shut the door behind me. Listening for a few more seconds I was amazed there was actually a business that didn't have an alarm in place. Unless the store was so poor it couldn't afford to install one, but still the owner was irresponsible. Whatever the reason I should be thankful I didn't have to trouble myself with disarming one.

I proceeded to explore the building after I heard no signs of movement. I found a office a little ways in, and I flicked on the lights. It was common office for a small business, with the computer and security system monitor shoved into a corner and motivational posters and a few fashion designs on the walls. Everything was crammed, boxes full of papers stacked high and supplies littered a messy desk. Frowning,I wondered how any work got done in such a pigsty. Quickly I was able to find one of the things I wanted, a clock and a calender. It was 6:40 am, February 28th, 1998.

My twelfth birthday. That was slightly disturbing for me, if I was back home Sayu would be waking me up in a couple of minutes. My father was going to surprise me by taking us to the amusement park, and my sister couldn't contain her excitement even though it was my birthday. I remembered how tired my mother and father were when I followed Sayu into their room as she proceeded to jump up onto their bed. My father had actually fallen off the bed, and my mother giggled into her hand as my father tried to reprimand my sister unsuccessfully from the floor. In the end we all got up early and had a great time, and I had gotten a new TV as a gift from my parents. Sayu had gotten me a card full of her messy drawings and decorated it with glitter. It was one of the few moments I had enjoyed with them as a family, before my world had started to become dim and dismal.

Sighing I buried those memories away. Fretting about the past wouldn't do me any good. I checked the security which turned out to be a simple camera system focused on the entrances and tills. It looked outdated even for this time. Smiling, I popped the recording tape out of the VCR, and set it on the desk for when I left, I could just reset everything later. For now there was no one in the building and I would take advantage of that.

I made my way to the front of the store which looked tacky with the purple wall paper and scenic pictures hanging from the walls. There was a large window in the front which read the same name I had seen on the back door. Careful to watch for passer byers, I scoured the shelves for some clothes that would fit me. The door said the store wouldn't be open for a few more hours so I took my time looking at clothes. There was a variety of women's and men's clothing, in all types of styles, most were in a flamboyant fashion that I immediately disregarded, but still there wasn't anything for children. Improvising I found a plain loose fitting shirt that was blue, either meant for a petite man or woman; I couldn't tell. All the pants would never fit me anyway so I found brown slacks in a small men's size and borrowed some scissors at the front till. My foot skidded as a I almost slipped in a puddle and I realized I was still dripping wet. Gathering the clothes to my chest and a black belt I spotted, I quickly found the nearest bathroom. I dumped the clothes onto the toilet seat cover and made use of the paper towels to dry myself. Making sure to wipe as much moisture as possible from my hair and body. I sneezed again, maybe it was too late to prevent a cold.

The shirt I had picked out reached a little beyond my waist and was a dark blue color. The pants waist was at least 3 sizes too big, and so were the legs. Using the scissors I cut the pant legs to an appropriate size for myself but left a few inches to roll up the frayed ends. I slipped the slacks on and tightened the belt as far as it would go so that I could make a hole for the clasp, and tucked away the excess leather. I threw the scraps I had made into the bottom of the garbage.

Looking at my reflection I was passable, even though everything looked a little too big. It was interesting to see the differences in my twelve year old body then my mature one. Besides the obvious lack of height, I could still see baby fat lining some of the edges in my face that would disappear in a few short years. Then I noticed my name, it was floating above my head in clear letters that spelled, Light Yagami.

The eyes, I had the eyes that I had denied myself so long ago. That was right, the Shinigami King said I would become an honorary god of death with all the rules and punishments, but I didn't expect to receive any powers. What other abilities were there besides the eyes and bestowing others with the ability to kill? Stepping out of the bathroom, Ryuk was playing with plush toys he found in the office.

"Yo Light, not bad," Chuckled Ryuk dropping the toy, "but not your usual style."

"What other powers do you have besides the eyes?" I asked.

"Ah you saw your name right." He said pointedly looking to the bathroom, "well I can fly, it'd be funny if you tried that by the way. I can shift through objects as you've already seen, besides that I don't know what you can do."

That was interesting, though it would be nicer to know my full capabilities. How much of I was a Shinigami after that tendril struck me. I wanted to shudder at the slimy feeling my memory invoked . Really I didn't feel that much different, but I had to be in order for me to exist in the same world as my former self. Powers couldn't be all that was different. I eyed Ryuk who was floating back into the office. I had only seen three Shinigami in my life: Ryuk, Rem and the king. All of them had warped and almost deformed appearances. Ryuk was tall and had a Gothic style that seemed almost normal for human standards. If it weren't for the wings, claws and shark teeth, he could've almost pass as a freakish human. Rem was just as tall but she had a more reptilian face and mummy-like appearance. The king was worse since he didn't have any humanoid features at all, he was more a monster then any of them. It chilled me to even imagine myself as one of them. Would I become so monstrous as them one day or not? I doubted Ryuk would know or even answer me if he did, so I posed a more immediate question.

"Ryuk what is it like when you go through walls."

"I dunno I don't really think about it." He said honestly.

"Well try."

"Bossy, bossy." He muttered, "I suppose it's like diving into water or eating apples."

"Eating apples?" I said flatly.

"Ok stick with diving into water then."

In the office there was a combination lock partly hidden under the table. It wouldn't hurt to try, and the only embarrassment I suffered would be seen by Ryuk, and he had seen plenty. Steeling myself I placed my hand on the safe and pushed, but nothing happened. Maybe if I envisioned...no how would I...

Diving into water. If I imagined myself diving into the metal of the safe how would that work. Concentrating I tried to do that. I felt a pulse that spread an odd warmth throughout my body, it was like I was melting into the safe rather then diving. I centered myself on that feeling, on the warmth and the melting. I gasped as I felt the resistance disappear and found my arm halfway through the door. I heard Ryuk mutter something but I was too busy concentrating on my arm. I didn't want to get stuck like this or have something worse happen. I couldn't feel the door at all, it was like there was nothing there at all. Inside I felt nothing also, but there had to be something inside the safe. I closed my eyes again and I tried to think of what I wanted. There had to be a cash float, papers, keys or something inside. A second of grasping seemingly thin air before I felt the contents of the safe. A bag that was most likely the deposit for the store was in my hand. For some reason concentrating on the bag and the melting made me sweat. Taking a deep breath I quickly tried to pull my arm out along with the bag. There was a tense second of resistance and I feared I was stuck before I heard the plastic rip. The upper corner of the bag was stuck in the door of the safe. Bewildered I tried to pull it out but it wouldn't budge. I satisfied myself with ripping the rest of the deposit free and putting the money in my pockets, there had to be at least a few hundred dollars.

"That was impressive Light." Admitted Ryuk.

"Why?"

"Usually the only thing that can shift through things are the Deathnote and Shinigami."

"You've never tried?" I asked.

"No I wouldn't want to lose my hand." Ryuk said smiling.

He had never been one for important details. If I had been blindfolded and heading towards a cliff, Ryuk would be the one to just watch me fall.

"I'm surprised you've never been stuck in a wall in the first place." I remarked.

"Hey-"

"If you still want your apple then I suggest you be quiet."

Ryuk jaw snapped shut. The big oaf really was simple minded, even though I thought he wouldn't be threatened by my childish voice. I noticed the warmth was receding now but my amazement wasn't, and my hand twitched as the last of the heated sensations left it. My arm had gone through solid metal, and that mere thought alone seem to dredge up new possibilities for me. Half of them weren't legal but that felt like such a minor detail at the moment.

The Shinigami's eyes and now this power. It wasn't human, so neither was I right? This much power had to come with a price, ah but maybe it would serve as a constant reminder for my happy ending at death. After all, these powers could be the compensation for being eaten later on. I had been raised from the dead not even an hour ago and already there were complications. I kept asking myself over and over; what would I become?

It wasn't like me to be so unsure, and that was the problem wasn't it. Technically I knew what I wanted, I wanted to be right or be shown what was right. But beyond that how would I live? I had always been someone who fit into society's norm; an attentive student with good grades, perfect son, and a bright future. They were all things that were expected of me and easily fulfilled.

But this, I though numbly and raised my fist, this was different. I was a freak, like Ryuk but different. Not even having a steady status as either a human or Shinigami. This life would be so uncertain with only a foreseeable and horrific end. Was it even worth coming back.

I mentally stomped on that thought as soon as it appeared. I wasn't like this, so self doubting or insecure. I would proceed as I always did, with a well thought out plan in whatever the circumstances dictated. Yagami Light. No I couldn't be that anymore...I had always like the name Asahi, so I would be Asahi Light.

Asahi Light.

A new life needed a new name.

"C'mon Ryuk let's get out of here." I said cheerfully.

Under the desk I found another a blank security tape and popped it into the machine, setting it to record again in fifteen minutes. Sighing I quickly cleaned my mess from the store floor, adjusted the racks I had messed and left everything as I had found it. I grabbed one of the store bags to conceal the old tape with my footage, and I found a black umbrella left behind the till. I decided to leave the way I had come, looking back I thanked the empty building and grabbed the garbage as I locked the door behind me.

* * *

Ryuk was happily munching on his apple I had gotten from a vendor, who had given me a weird look when I wasn't wearing shoes. I quickly dispelled it with one of my best smiles as I politely thanked him, and took the two apples. One for Ryuk and one for myself. Not many people stared at me but after that I quickly bought some socks and cheap, white sneakers from another small store.

Now I was at a large cafe, nestled in a back booth where I wouldn't be noticed when I talked to Ryuk. The waitress came and set down the breakfast I had ordered and a large orange juice. Smiling, I thanked her and I tried not to stare at the numbers and name over her head. She would die in two years.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" Smiled Isabelle Tonner.

"No Thank-you." I said in English.

She left smiling secretly at me and went off to help her other patrons. It was like I had a small caption into everyone's lives and it was annoying. There was an old couple across the room by the window looking out at their dog who was tied to a post. The laughing man would die in six months while the women who smiled silently, would live for another 7 years. It was almost sad, almost. Sighing I turned my attention to my meal, the wafting aroma of bacon was making me ravenous.

"So Light what are you gonna do now?" Said Ryuk, he was sitting across from me.

The eggs were a bit runny, so I used the toast to absorb some of the yolk. Nibbling on it, I shrugged at Ryuk and took a sip of my juice. Besides trying finding a place to live; I really had nothing to do now. Who knew if L was even operating yet, so it might take a while to find him. And there was the matter of school.

"You sure seem calm." Sighed the Shinigami.

"It won't help if I panic," I said matter of factly. "I'm pretty sure I'm in London right now. What part I can't say, and who knows if L even exists, he must be in school right now."

"I doubt that." Said Ryuk secretively.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

"I've already been so nice to you Light so I don't think I should tell you." Chuckled Ryuk.

Putting down my fork I went to the waitress and asked for some apples, she smiled and gave them to me, and I sat down. I chucked them at the Shinigami and he greedily devoured them in in two minutes, no one had been paying attention as the apple cores disappeared into Ryuk's mouth.

"Well?" I said expectantly.

Ryuk slurped the juice from his fingers and smirked. "I can't tell you his name though you can find that out for yourself, but how old do you think he is?"

I had always assumed that L was only a few years older than me, he had looked around twenty so I never asked.

"I'd say he's about nineteen now." Said the Shinigami.

Nineteen? He was seven years older than me, so when we me when I was seventeen he was 24! I had a hard time concealing my shock at Ryuk's revelation. That meant L could be working anywhere in the world right now working as the three world's greatest detectives. How in the hell was I supposed to find him? Then I stopped myself. Did I really want to find him. He had ruined a part of my life, and confined me to a cell for months like a common criminal. The man was unpredictable but he wouldn't have any interest in me right now anyway. It was a bit obsessive but I did I still wanted to find out the man's name, since it was one thing I had never found out. It wasn't like I was going to kill him, well if I could resist the urge to, the man was irritating enough. My knife screeched on the plate, flicking egg onto the table.

Kill him.

Horror filled me. "Ryuk!" I yelled, not caring at the stares I was getting, "Where's my Deathnote!"

And Ryuk laughed. "I was waiting for you to realize it. It's a part of the human realm now and who knows where it could have dropped on our way down. If you can't find it you'll have to wait until someone picks it up."

"Excuse me," I swiveled my head to the waitress, "are you ok?"

"Yes, sorry" I said tightly, "can I have my check."

She nodded, smiling reassuringly at me and left. Nothing could reassure me right now, my Deathnote was gone. I had totally overlooked an important detail with the confusion of my outrageous situation. Grabbing some money from my pocket I payed for my meal quickly and tipped. I ran out the door, into the rain again not bothering to open my umbrella. The Deathnote could be anywhere so I checked the last place I had been. The place where I had awoken in the alley behind Blair's Boutique.

An hour later I had searched every part of the dingy alley. Behind the dumpster and debris, but it wasn't here. It wasn't anywhere! Would I have to play the shinigami to someone. That was a terrifying concept. Then a door opened a few meters away and a lean man stepped out with a garbage bag in hand. He froze when he saw me and was probably about to tell me something about how I shouldn't be here. Then I say an odd look enter his eyes as he saw my bag, my shirt and recently dirtied slacks. It didn't take a genius to know he recognized his own merchandise. Before he could stop me I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction.

"Hey!" He yelled angrily.

I could hear him running after me, and he stood a good chance of catching me. I turned over a couple trash cans as past them hoping to slow him down. Looking back I saw him trip over some rotten food that had leaked out of a bag and I sped up even faster. My heart was hammering into my ears as I neared the end of the alley and I turned down a crowded street. A taxi, if I could find one I could get the hell out of here. I saw a gentleman flagging one down so I went for it. Just as the taxi stopped and the door was open, I dived in.

"Drive!" I yelled at the taxi driver, and turned to the shock man, "sorry but it's an emergency"

I slammed the door shut and the taxi drove off before the man could say anything. Looking back I saw the sales person looking angrily down the street for me. Sighing I sank into the worn seats of the cab, slipping on my seat belt.

"Where are you headed, boy?" Said the taxi driver, his name was Adam.

With that little episode behind me, I had to find my Deathnote. Who knew where it could have ended up. Ryuk, where had he gone? Oh well it wasn't like I enjoyed his company anyway.

"The nearest station please." I said

* * *

The cab whisked away in traffic and Light was gone. Light was such an uptight kid. Though he had always remained interesting. Heh.I had even gotten a few apples out of him. Too bad I couldn't hang around long either. Stupid old man. Everyone was bossing me around lately.

Flying high above the city, the people shrunk into the size of ants. Cars were jamming in all parts of road as far as he could see. Humans really liked to scurry about. Their lives were a blip in the infinity of time but they were always entertaining blips. Sighing I found the place I was looking for.

There he was, a tall man in a black suit similar to the fashion Light had always worn. He was in a part of town that didn't look like it fit his usual hang out as he walked calmly down an alley. Looking around the man pulled a small brown bag from his suitcase. There was a redness seeping slowly from the bottom, He looked like he was careful not to get any on himself as he deposited it into a trash can. Looking around again, he quickly ripped off his gloves putting it into the suitcase and speed walked out of the alley.

Heh. Looked like he found the right guy. I put my hand to my side and took out the Deathnote, not mine, the old man was taking care of it for me. No this was Light's, funny how the boy never questioned it. Chuckling I made sure to drop it in front of the man's car. As he neared it, he put his key into the door and pause, spotting the book. He saw him pick it up curiously, and mouthed the words on the cover. His brows furrowed into his deep seated brow and he looked around again. Finally after a few tense moments he opened his car door and threw the Deathnote onto the passenger seat, and drove off.

Laughing, I watched the car move away. I hope you have fun Light, until I see you again. Show me how you deal with this and also...that. Chuckling some more I flew up higher into the air towards the Shinigami's world. The old man would like to know about Light's first day back.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note simple as that.

Hello all you happy people. Here I am, I am still alive and well if you were wondering but I took so long to update so sorry. I'm looking for a beta if your interested you can pm me sometime.

Oh and I decided I'll dedicate this to AuraBlackWolfe who is a wonderful reviewer. I hope you all enjoy.

**Chapter Three**

* * *

I shivered in my flimsy jacket, really it was only used to keep off the rain, but the sweater I had under it really didn't help either. Rubbing the chill from my hands only lasted about five seconds before they were cold again.

Children shouldn't be out past 9pm, that is the what most parents thought, and I definitely shouldn't have been out at 2am though technically I wasn't a child. Nobody should really be out at this time anyway it was too cold. It made me regret not getting gloves earlier that day.

Getting up from the park seat bench I decided walking would be the best way to keep my blood flowing. There were other people who were out here too, but they were mostly drunks or bums. Over there on a bench not far from me was obviously a business man trying to regather himself on a bench. Funny how they were always the type to end up in a park. He swayed a little, catching himself every so often before he finally fell over onto the paved walkway. Sighing I walked over and shoved him onto his side with my foot. He was a blond man, probably in his mid thirties, and his suit was a little old and worn. Middle-class, and most likely fired, or he had trouble at home to make him retreat to the park. And he had way too much to drink from the smell of his breath it wasn't surprising he had passed out so suddenly. He didn't move much either as I patted his clothes until I found his wallet and cell phone.

Opening his cellphone I quickly found his home phone number on the contacts list and dialed. Inside his wallet there was a picture of his wife and two children, I.D, library, eighty dollars and a credit card. Four rings and still nothing. They were probably still sleeping. Six rings and not even an answering machine yet, what kind of people didn't have one?

"H-Hello?" Said a tired, woman's voice. Finally.

"Maam your husband is passed out here in the park near the McDonald's." I said politely.

"What?! I can't believe-who is-"

"If you don't want him mugged or worse you should come get him." I said cutting her off and hung up.

I put his cellphone and wallet, minus the eighty dollars, back into his jacket. I made sure he was on his side a little more so if he threw up he wouldn't choke. As pleasant as that was, and I continued on. I didn't feel that guilty about leaving him since he was the one that got himself in that mess. But I could tell, judging from the man's wife that he was going to get an earful later.

The eighty dollars I pocketed, payment up front for a good deed is what you could call it I guess. The money I had acquired from the clothes shop was starting to run out. For the last two weeks I had spent it mostly on food, clothes and a backpack to put it all in. Shelter I had found pretty easily by shifting my way through walls into empty hotel rooms. Memorizing the schedules of the house maids at less popular hotels had been easy, and that worked for a while. However, recently there was seemed to be a convention going on because there was influx of business men into every hotel in the area. Which meant I couldn't stay in any of them, and now I was out in the cold in the middle of the night.

Wandering out her was bound to catch some good samaritans eye and I would be reported to the police, or worse social assistance. Veering off the paved path I found a dark spot under a tree away from human eyes. I really wasn't worried about being bothered by troublesome individuals since their attacks could go right through me. I was still careful though, because lately I found I would get tired very easily when I used my powers. Through experimentation I found I could go through at least twenty barriers before I generally passed out. Also I had accidentally discovered I could actually turn invisible. It happened when I ended up running away from a business owner who thought I was stealing even though it was actually a kid right next to me. I ended up running away being chased by security and unconsciously ran through a wall into the girl's lavatory which had been occupied. I panicked and turned invisible before the woman could turn around and see me. That had been a useful and embarrassing day. Thankfully I hadn't seen that much and I escaped but I never got to buy the newspaper I was originally after.

My search for L and the Deathnote was growing more and more frustrating, and fruitless. Scoring through newspapers and newscasts hadn't revealed anything about the location of either of them. There were no strange deaths or heart attacks reported in the news that would qualify as the notebooks use. And L, who was a world class detective by now was a closely guarded secret by the ICPO and impossible to find. He only took cases that interested him which would include dealing with the world's deadliest and most expensive crimes. And nothing like that had happened in England recently. My only real lead I had that L might even be in this country was that he had won a junior championship in tennis when he was younger here. That and I just felt this was the place he was most likely to be. Trusting a gut instinct just seemed so irresponsible. It was more likely he was in Russia after that bomber who was bombing coffee shops and still wanted.

The Deathnote I had no instincts whatsoever for. A little book lying somewhere in world was almost too disheartening to think about. I had no idea if I was supposed to feel or sense the thing. It almost made me wish Ryuk was here, who was no doubt responsible for this mess in the first place. I would seriously find a way to kill him.

Yawning I leaned against the tree and stretched. I was really getting tired, twelve year olds really had no stamina. I felt myself drifting, looking up at the starry sky that was revealed through some of the clouds. The night sky seemed luminescent in the darkness. Stars glittering in the distance, blinking I watched a star slowly move across the sky. It was probably a satellite. How could anyone think the stars could predict the future I wondered, they were just balls of gas spread out from the viewpoint of the earth. Moved only by the rotation of the planet from our view. Breathing out slowly, it was no wonder I never star gazed, being so rational made it pointless.

For once I relaxed a little, unconsciously shifting my hand through the earth beneath me. I could feel what was earth, rock and root of the tree. That was something I had picked up as I used that power more. Tiredness was creeping up on me more and more. I really shouldn't...fall...aslee-

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Said a deep voice.

Suddenly I was fully awake. It couldn't be, there was no way the king could be here. My hand was wrenched from the earth by a cold skeletal hand of a Shinigami. One I had never seen before, who towered over me even as he bent over. The irrational panic that overcame me a second ago slowly drained away but I was still cautious.

"Do really want to kill yourself." He said cryptically before he released me.

The Shinigami had to be at least seven feet high and I had to crane my neck a little to look at him, making me feel even smaller. He had a body like a human skeleton though a little fuller somehow. There were jewels embedded into the bone throughout his body and manacles of gold on his feet. He wore a thick, gold neck piece embedded with rubies the size of golf balls. On what was left of his hips was a gold band that supported a red and gold cloth. Gold bracelets were embedded along with the jewels on his legs and arms. The head which was a skull decorated with jewels mostly around his crown did nothing to change the eerie nature of a Shinigami. Somehow even ridiculously bedecked in luxury he still looked frightening.

"Kill myself?" I inquired.

"With your powers,"He said making a motion towards my hand, "that is, your constant use of them."

He must have seen my confusion because there was an outtake of breath through his teeth that hissed slightly which I thought was a sigh. He scratched his head with his hand.

"I should have known better than to leave you in Ryuk's care but I am a busy individual."

His deep,hallowed voice seemed to ring in my ears the more he spoke and I wished he would stop. As he spoke I could feel it, the aura of age power, something I had never felt from Ryuk.

"I am Armonia Justin Beyondormason, an advisor to all the realm of Shinigami." He said and jaw clacked together a little. "I usually guide the newborns and I have been very eager to meet you Light Yagami, even if I disputed your return, but the king is more guided by his stomach than anything these days."

He seemed to measure something with his soulless eyes and I froze a little.

"Your powers, you have used too much and you have no sustenance for your Shinigami side now." He chided.

"Sustenance for my Shinigami powers..." I trailed off as realization started to dawn on me.

"You are a Shinigami and you are a human. You sustain both but you are still not a full Shinigami, so you are not fully supported by the deaths of humans who would add to your life normally. However, your powers still need to be nourished by the life force of humans and if your powers should disappear you will not qualify as a Shinigami, nor as a separate existence from your past self."

And so I would die, I thought. Ryuk hated giving long explanations, of course he didn't say any of this, the bastard. No wonder I felt so tired time after I used my powers, but I would have to kill again with Deathnote. Be trapped even more by that cursed thing.

"My Deathnote," I said a slight panic edging my voice, "I can't find it."

He paused, lifting himself to his full height and turned his head to the north as if he were listening for something.

"Ryuk," He muttered before bending towards me again. I knew it. "It is in the possession of a human so I cannot gather it but you should still be able to find it. It is also newborn note so it will not kill yet. It does not know itself until you are able to hold it, and give it it's first kill."

I could feel my stomach wrenching at the thought of using it, much like the first time I had used the Deathnote but I didn't get sick.

"You will not be able to sense it yet but," He reached to a spot on his leg where one on the golf ball sized rubies was, and ripped it off. Bone cracking a little at the jewels removal, "you should mange with this."

He placed it into my hands and goosebumps enveloped my body as the jewel touched my palm. It felt cold.

"I must go now though I should say you only have at least a week to find your note, less still if you use your powers."He paused so I could absorb that and continued, " I will come back and if this jewel is harmed in anyway you will regret it."

His skeletal wings extended, they didn't even look like he should be able to fly, but then he lifted into the dark night.

"Don't die now I still wish to be entertained as well."

Then he was gone.

Once the initial shock wore off and I was only left to wonder about the jewel in my hands, did I start to think. What the hell? Was I some kind of personal amusement for legs which I hadn't felt until then, collapsed under me and I fell back on the grass. Armonia, his aura was almost as overwhelming as the King himself but at least he helped me.

The jewel steadily it started to grow warm in my hand and I turned on my stomach to look at it. It wasn't glowing thankfully but it felt warm. Frowning I aimed it west and it grew cold, then back north it grew hot again. I rolled my eyes a little when I realized I would have to play a game of 'hot and cold' to find my Deathnote. The oldest, simplest way people used to direct others to their destinations. Sighing, I got up and decided to get an early start on my search.

* * *

This had to be a goose chase I thought as the jewel grew colder again. I found I could keep it in my pants pocket and just turn in different directions until it heated again. It was less conspicuous that way and I didn't need people commenting on a kid holding the jewel the size of an egg and robbing me. Though turning every five minutes was starting to get irritating. The jewel would point through traffic, homes and buildings. And without my powers I was subject to more menial ways of getting through those obstacles. It didn't help that whoever had my notebook seemed to be taking it everywhere with them.

When I was standing outside a shop for a minute to buy myself something to eat, the jewel went hot and then cold, when I turned around it was hot and then cold again. At least now they were in one place since the temperature of the jewel remained steady and I could follow. I had been at it until 4pm now and I had no idea where I was. The shops were more modest wherever I was and I could see that houses were starting to grow more frequent as I moved on.

Turning north it was hot. I quickly ran to catch a the green light for a walk sign with the rest of the crowd. If only I could attach this to a GPS and end this instead of running everywhere. It was started to wear on me and mentally I was screaming for coffee. For a second, the buildings and people ran together in a mosaic of color and I almost fell. Fortunately, a wall supported me and I was able to gather my wits. I definitely needed a pick me up, whatever I could get. I didn't care as long as it woke up.

"Oh look at that!"

"I want it."

"I've only got a pence!"

A gaggle of children were gathered around a shop near me, pointing and I was reluctantly drawn to see what they were fascinated with. I peered into the window behind some of them and stared.

Candy!

There was an assortment of expensive looking chocolates,liquorice, and lollipops displayed in the window. Beyond the display was a classical looking store with mountains of sweets on the walls and tables. Maybe I was just really tired but for some reason it looked actually looked good to me. Making my way through the other children I entered the shop with the little chime greeting me. The clerk smiled at me and I tried to smile back. The sweet aroma infused the store, especially chocolate since it looked like they actually made their own chocolate here.

Looking about the shelves and stacks of candies that varied from homemade to commercial, I felt a little overwhelmed. The only type of sweets I had experience with were the chocolates my mother made during Valentine's day. Other than that I had never really indulged that much. Searching he found a corner with chocolates that were in all types of flavors. I felt almost uncharacteristically expectant as I gazed at all the different packaging. Should I take the dark chocolate with strawberry filling or just a plain bar that looked a little easier to start off with?

I really wasn't paying attention to anyone as I weighed my options, so when a pale finger extended in my peripheral vision I jumped a little.

"The milk chocolate suckers are good."

The world slowed as my eyes trailed the pale hand to the white shirt and finally to darkened orbs that were looking at me expectantly. L smiled, and he never smiled so easily at me unless he scheming something. I could only stand there, stare, and hear the heart beat in my ears. Really god must really hate me what was he doing here so suddenly? Was I breathing? I couldn't tell. L's alive, no of course he's alive....

"Young man, are you-

The voice it sounded slightly off but I really couldn't process it. I felt frozen in a moment of shock and god dammit I still wasn't breathing. Breathe I commanded but I couldn't. My lungs just wouldn't listen. I started to feel light headed. He reached for me and finally I breathed and embarrassingly I passed out.

* * *

The shop looked quaint. I had heard a lot of good things about it from Mello when he stopped by here on a trip with the orphanage. I was in town so I might as well stop by here and pick up a few things before I headed back to the hotel. I pushed by a couple of children who stepped back as soon as they saw me. A few of them stared at my bare feet and I ignored them. I followed a taller child inside as he hesitantly opened the door and finally went in. It was amusing because the child stared wide eyed at everything like it was the first time he had been here. He wasn't wearing a uniform like any of the other children but a lot of kids were home schooled these days.

I turned to the nearest shelf scoffed as my eyes ran over the over exaggerated sweets, if they could even be called that. They hardly had anything worth having in them. Luckily they had some rasperry jam by a company I liked and as I thought that since Mello suggested this place, I might as well get him something. I went to the corner where the boy I had entered with was looking at chocolates. He was taking too long at something children should be good at doing right away. Idly I noticed the boys sneakers looked new but very worn as if he had been traveling too much. The end of his jeans were becoming frayed but everything looked new as though the child had rolled in dirt. He was shifting, looking at the dark chocolates and impatiently I pointed to the suckers.

"The milk chocolate suckers are good."

Instead of twisting towards me immediately, he jerked and then slowly turned towards me as if he feared something. When he turned towards me his eyes widened comically and I smiled, hoping he would move quickly back to the chocolates and leave. But he kept staring into my eyes and then I noticed something impossible. He had no name or time of death.

Stunned for once, I stared back. In all my life I had been able to see the deaths and names of people. From the death of my mother who died in a train crash to my father who was killed while being mugged. And now suddenly that normality was interrupted out of the blue by this wide-eyed child. Who wasn't breathing?

"Young man are you ok?"I said more gently than I had spoken to anyone in my life. I reached for him and he finally released a breath.

"L" He said almost too low to hear and collapsed. I caught him as he fell towards me, and I stared at his unconscious face. I felt like something was unraveling or beginning as I looked at him. He knew L? My teeth gritted, but that was just as impossible as the the last fact I knew. In a mere minute it seemed like everything I thought I knew about the world was going to be called into question. And somehow I knew this boy held something I needed to know. This child who had no name to my eyes which for once I would have to investigate.

"Is he Ok?" One of the store clerks had come to investigate.

"Fine, he's just tired from the trip here. It was a long one and he was so excited to buy something for his mother's birthday. I guess he didn't realize how tired he was." I chuckled.

The clerk smiled. "How about we just give you this jam on the house and that can be our gift to her as well."

Well that was an unexpected plus.

"Thank-you, I'll get this chocolate as well." I said grabbing a large chocolate bar and picking up the boy. He wouldn't be able to hold onto me so I held him in the way I saw mothers holding their children and put his backpack on my shoulder.

After I ran my purchase through I exited the store and headed towards the car waiting for me across the street. And as I held the boy tighter to me I felt like smiling, but I didn't.

* * *

Well there you go an update, it's been a little long I know but I was busy and I really wondered how to do this chapter which ended up like this.

So now that Beyond's in the picture, I really haven't decided how to handle him...well I do kind of but I am really debating things. Anyway if you like Beyond, well you can give me some tips for him. That sounds a little cryptic I know but I'm still thinking about something.

Hmmm, oh well ^.^ Thxs. for reading everybody and review

P.S-I'll make the next chapter longer. Promise


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: Wow I updated. Just kidding, ok no I'm not. Why so long? I guess I was thinking about what to write but I could tell what I actually wrote and what's here is totally different with the same ideas. And now I'm rambling. Ok well here is the chapter and I hope you like it.  
_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Death Note**

**Chapter Four**

_NO NO NO NO NO NO NO_

_This isn't happening, it can't be happening. Why me? What fucking god hates me so much to think I deserve this! _

_Please make it all go away, please why can't I be back at home, safe on my couch watching 'Friends' and gorging on chips. Maybe I'm dreaming, dreaming about nothing and blackness and terror. No it's too dark and hot. I'm going to suffocate, and rot and DIE! God just shut-up. I needed to get out of here and fast before I go mad.  
_

_Frantically, I again clawed at the stone walls of my circular prison. The way out couldn't be that far from me, it just couldn't. It wasn't like me to hope against all hope, but then I didn't have that much of an option. Reaching as far as I could I still didn't feel any ledges or even a hint of a ceiling. I prayed silently before I decided to jump, and for a millisecond, I thought I felt something before I fell back hard enough that my heel broke.  
_

_"Fuck!," I cried, pounding the concrete with my fist until they hurt, "LET ME OUT!"_

_Ripping off my broken heel I threw it above me as hard as I could, a metallic clang was my only answer and it wasn't satisfying. I sobbed into my dirty rag of a dress and huddled in a pathetic effort to keep warm. I didn't deserve to be locked up in this grubby hole, how long had I been here anyway. It couldn't have been as long as I imagined, all I could really remember was waking up as sick as a dog after my night out, but then I must have passed out again after throwing up if the smell in here was anything to judge by.  
_

_Ugh I am so stupid, I thought again. This was the type of thing that happened in movies, in TV shows and on the news. To some other girl with no life. It wasn't fair, but then how could I have been so...so stupid!_

_The first rule when you went out was to stay with your friends. I had been dancing on the floor with Rachael like I usually do, having a good time, not caring about anything. Maybe I had too many drinks, but I was usually good with my alcohol. Then he showed up._

_A guy fitting that all too cliche tall, dark, and handsome M.O, but had been nice and bought me so many drinks, and then asking me to go back to his room. Of course I was going to say no but then I had gotten dizzy, and sick all of sudden and before I knew it I was here in this hell hole.  
_

_I heard a dull thud and froze. Footsteps, someone was coming. _

_The grate screeched as it opened, and the florescent light that poured in hurt my eyes so much that I could hardly look up._

_"Aw kitty, are you hungry?" He said mockingly childlike.  
_

_It was that guy from the club, I could still recognize his voice. "You sick fuck, let my out of here."_

_He tsked. The shadow of his head shaking in disapproval. "Such a naughty pet, and here I took the trouble to get you some treats."_

_Two small thuds and I looked up to see cat treats. "Bastard." I whispered._

_My head shot up when I heard a click, and there reflecting off the light was a gun pointing straight at me._

_He can't kill me, I screamed to myself, no I don't want to die here.  
_

_"Now be good and eat." He said gesturing towards the treats.  
_

_I stared at the gun for a minute before slowly picking one of the treats. The plastic crinkled in my shaking hands as I unwrapped it, and I looked in disgust at the fish-shaped treat. Hesitantly I raised it towards my mouth as a sense of terror, and outrage gripped my mind.  
_

_"That's not how kitty's eat." He chimed in._

_Heat flooded my cheeks and I wanted to scream, curse, and blow the fucking guys' head off. But instead I sobbed and dropped it on the ground where my tears were freckling the concrete. I didn't think I could do it but I did. I gagged and puked up a little as I ate the first treat. It tasted so horrible I could hardly stand it. I chewed as little as possible and swallowed, finishing it off as quickly as I could. Then I did the same to the second, trying to keep my stomach down as I felt it lurch._

_"Now tell me how much you enjoyed that kitty." He said endearingly while waving the gun a little."Do you want some more?"_

_"I-" _

_"Properly now." He interrupted.  
_

_Looking down I noticed my fingertips were raw and bloody from my attempts to climb the walls. They stung and I was tired and sick because this insane freak wants to play pet with me. I could feel my anger building up inside so much that my face had probably gone red. And he was humming, waiting patiently for my reply as I battled my tattered pride. I won`t die here.  
_

_"Meow." I choked._

_"Hm?" _

_"Meow." I said a little louder this time._

_"I didn't quite hear that." He said.  
_

_"ME-OW YOU BATSARD! LET ME GO!!" I screamed, tearing off my other heel and throwing it at his head with as much force as I could muster._

_He dodged. Shaking his head at me again. "And here I thought I had found such a good pet. Oh well there are plenty more fish in the sea." He said before he aimed.  
_

_"NO!" I screamed backing up as far as I was allowed."NO DON"T! I'M SORRY!"_

_"Too late for that now." He sighed sadly, as a shot rang through the darkness._

**_*I am here*_**

* * *

*_**I am here***_

The scene faded but I could smell the aftermath of the blood in the air. Color started to fill in the darkness again and I could see a large building. It looked like an abandoned building, but the garden still looked well taken care of. Vines and other foliage ran free on the sides of the brick walls, and the windows were either broken or sealed shut with boards. The only thing thing that didn't look degraded or in disrepair was the front door; made of black wood with a glass window in the middle. The gardens were filled with roses and lilly's at the back of the property, with white wooden archways tangled with flowers on a gravel path. Somehow it seemed like someone was living there.

***I am here***

It was the voice again and it sounded almost childlike.

Who? I thought

A flash of black, pages flipping, and a face that all melded together in a cacophony of black and gray colors. I shook my head because it was hard to concentrate as the images constantly tried reforming themselves and failed. A spinning sensation was starting to take hold when the voice spoke again.

***I am here***

Stop it! I yelled

It did and everything melted again. Everything was black again for a moment before I found myself staring down the barrel of a gun. My eyes widened when I saw Matsuda glaring at me from the other side, eyes full of hate and malice. A few feet away was Near, with the L mask covering his face, and on his side was my father's pale visage with an expression full of accusation. Looking into his eyes I felt a stone drop in my stomach and shame made my face hot. I looked away back to Matsuda who started to laugh and soon he was joined by the others.  
In the background a clock began to tick, and one voice chanting:

_  
Die Die Die Die Die Die_

It coincided with the beat of my heart and simultaneously quickened with the pace of my pulse. The laughing, chanting and nosies were an unholy orchestra of mockery, and judgment. I covered my ears but I could still hear the ticking. I realized it was coming from my wrist. Slowly, I looked at my wrist and my watch was running with one hand going past the thirty mark.

40 seconds. That's all it takes.

My chest tightened as the point of the gun nudged my forehead, Matsuda had a wicked smile plastered on his face but it was Near who spoke.

"Monster."

The mask muffled the word a bit but it still echoed in my head. Before I could argue there was a thundering bang as Matsuda's gun recoiled, and my head jarred back from the impact. I felt my blood run rivulets down my face; into my eyes, nose and mouth. I could hear the last seconds drone and I screamed.

* * *

I literally jumped from the bed as I jolted awake, untangling my arms from the sheets to feel my face. Relief pushed past my overwhelming panic as I realized I was whole and well.

"Nightmare?"

I jumped and swiveled to the speaker.

L was sitting in a lounging chair nearby, in an all too familiar position with his hands resting on his knees and his toes curling reflexively under him. His eyes were unnerving in their silent assessment. Watching forever more for the slightest hint of guilt.

I swallowed hard and nodded. I was more embarrassed than anything else because I was never one to freak out over nightmares. In what was becoming a habit for me, I glanced above L's head for the name that had eluded me in my previous life, and almost fell over.

Beyond Birthday

That couldn't be right.

"Who are you?" I asked harshly.

"Oh? Don't you know?" He said playfully, "I'm L."

No your not. I wanted to say but didn't. "Your name can't be a letter."

He raised his eyebrows a little at me and shrugged. "It really doesn't matter what you think, especially if you are a stupid child like yourself."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

He smiled and reached behind the chair, and retrieved my backpack. He dug out a bag from the inside and dumped out all the remaining money I had gotten from the store. And not missing a beat he pulled out the ruby I had gotten from the Shinigami Justin. This was not good.

"Funny things for a boy to have." He said with a smile that mirrored the dream-Matsuda's. "Yesterday I was unfortunate enough to have you faint dead on me while I was purchasing sweets, and what should I find when I graciously take you in? A boy with a stash full of money when I, curiously enough, happened to notice a report filed a week ago about the possible involvement of an Asian boy in a robbery at a clothes store."

Could I act offended? Probably not when I still had the plastic bag with the store's logo on the floor in front of Beyond. Fuck that was stupid. Shifting uneasily, I looked out the window where the cars and people were the size of ants. No escaping that way.

"What do you want?" I said looking back at him. "You haven't called the police so you must want something."

He chuckled,"I can't say I really want anything."

This was getting ridiculous. "Then I can go?"

"I didn't say that." He said. "What I mean is that you interest me so I'm going to keep you."

Was I still in some kind of nightmare? Some L look-a-like was acting like I was some stray cat he wanted to take home.

"What could I have possibly done to interest you?" I said hotly. "Are you some kind of weird psycho kidnapper?"

"You don't remember?" He said.

"Remember what?"

"No matter, your not going anywhere so you may as well get used to it. Breakfast is in an hour in the living room and unless your going to kill yourself jumping out the window then your not worth my interest."

He headed toward the door while I stood frozen in place.

Before he went through he turned around. "If your unwilling to call me L then you can call me Ryuzaki Rue."

My jaw dropped as the door shut behind him and I went for the phone on the nightstand. The phone line was cut. Bastard.

* * *

An hour later I was grumpily eating breakfast on the couch near Beyond who was loudly slurping Strawberry jam from his fingers. I might just risk going through the walls and killing myself to get away from the horrid sight but he still had my ruby. And what use was my survival if I couldn't locate my Deathnote, so I sat silently beside him and ate.

He paused in the middle dipping his fingers in the jar. "Oh you also need to do something for me."

"What you have requirements for kidnapping?" I said acidly.

"Regularly, yes." He put down the jar and licked the rest of the jam off his fingers, and went to the desk nearby to get a thick, brown envelope. "Fill this out."

He dropped the envelope onto my plate and I grimaced as potatoes spilled onto my shirt. Beyond then flopped down into his earlier crouch and continued eating his jam happily. I put my ruined breakfast on the coffee table and quickly took out the papers from the jam stained envelope. I leafed through the pages, my eyes growing wider with each page but not worried. He wanted me to do a test?

When I looked at the heading on the first page I couldn't contain my surprise. "Wammy's!"

Beyond stopped his gorging. "Your familiar with it?"

"What kind of stupid test is this?" I said trying to cover my mistake. "Are you going to wammy me if I fail?"

He frowned at me and I almost thought he was going to question me further but then he pointed to the desk and told me to get started. I obeyed, still a little dazed about the situation. I had already guessed that Beyond was a product of Wammy, an orphanage where it's occupants were molded to succeed the role of L, and apparently mimic his appearance I though looking at Beyond. But I had never thought of actually going there, well no maybe I would have gone later to find L but I wouldn't have gone in as a student. Not with Mello, Matt and especially Near living there, I would be hard pressed not to kill all three.

I sat with the test in front of me. Grabbed a pen and wrote the letter K on the front and tapped the paper. I could finish the whole thing in twenty minutes but should I just intentionally do the whole thing badly and possibly be let go. No, I had a feeling he wouldn't let me go even if I failed the whole thing, and my pride wouldn't allow it. So resting my head on my arm I answered the first page quickly and tried not to roll my eyes at some of the mundane questions.

* * *

The boy was scribbling away in the corner at the desk. Fifteen minutes had passed and I hadn't heard a single sound of frustration or agitation from him. This morning activities with him had been a little amusing but if the boy was dead stupid it would be really irritating. Getting the papers from Roger hadn't been that hard via the fax in the lobby.

Wammy's wasn't overly filled with children, and if an orphan child with promise was presented (even if I have to fake it for him) then he had to be given a chance to attend. It was the rule Quillish had established with the orphanage. The test was specialized to recognize the attributes, intelligence and specialties of a child with a wide variation of questions. It wasn't the hardest test in the world but it wasn't easy either. Not that a person could be judged alone on paper though it did help. Unless they were one of the special cases who had acquired skills from less desirable backgrounds like the boy I had and the other one I would have to get later.

Curious, I walked over to him about to look over his shoulder but he swiftly turned at my approach and presented the paper to me.

"Done." He said with an air of arrogance. "I'm going to the bathroom."

He stalked off with a prissy trot and slammed the door behind him. For a child he was really too uptight.

I flipped through the pages of the test and was surprised. All the answers were right, and not only that there were no marks of hesitation or a hint of an afterthought. He had answered all the questions with a swift and decisive demeanor. Quickly flipping through the rest I found all the rest to be correct too and smiled. It seemed getting into Wammy's wouldn't be much of a problem, in fact the child could rival Near and Mello who were the current tops of the younger children. He might even be useful after I found out the mystery of his immunity towards me.

During the morning I had checked for his name but I never saw it. And his behavior this morning indicated that he might have an ability like mine. He had looked above my head before I told him I was L, which even then seemed to anger him. It climbed the possibility of him knowing L as well which would be maddening and disappointing. I wouldn't be able to break L's demeanor anymore if a little boy gave away my ability.

I looked for the name he marked and all he wrote was K. Funny sense of humor the kid had but there was already a K in the house. I wonder what it stood for but it was most likely for beginning of his name.

'K' came out of the bathroom an annoyed expression on his face as he spotted with the paper in my hands. Maybe he thought I hadn't read it.

He crossed his arms waiting.

"It'll do but I'm afraid I can't call you 'K', someone else has already taken it." I said tonelessly.

"Raito." He said instead.

"No surname? That's fine but now we have to go."

The boy looked miffed and narrowed his eyes at me. "Where?"

"The Airport." I said."There's someone else I have to pick up before I'm done here."

"I'm not going anywhere until you give me back my ruby."

"You'll just runaway if I give it to you." I countered.

He looked like he was about to argue again so I went over and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and shoved him toward the bedroom.

"Get your jacket and hurry up." I said. I had often seen Roger deal with difficult children this way.

He grumbled a little but went and got his jacket and we left.

* * *

"Who are we here to pick up?" I asked.

"A boy." He said patiently.

Like he was the one that needed patience. Everyone was staring at Beyond like he was a circus freak, which he might as well be. Standing there with a sign in one hand reading 'Stan' and a chocolate cone filled with jam in the other. And then of course me standing here looking awkward and staring at all the infuriating delayed signs across the landing schedules. We could be here for hours.

"Which plane is he supposed to come in on?" I asked.

"It's a private jet so we won't be waiting long."

"Oh." I said dumbly.

Private jet? That was a little excessive for one kid.

"There he is." Beyond said suddenly.

A small boy was moving at a zombie's pace with his attention stuck on a game boy in front of him. He had brown hair with a reddish tinge to it and his eyes were obscured by his tinted goggles stuck to his face. Baggy jeans of course and a black shirt that said "Kill all Noobs."

I had never met him but I knew it was Matt, or to be more correct Mail Jeevas. Matt walked towards us until he was a foot away, he was at least a foot shorter than me, and he looked like he could be ten or younger.

He glanced up, taking note of Beyond and I, and then continued to push buttons furiously on his game boy.

"Yo," He said, not looking up,"Name's Matt not Stan. You here to pick me up?"

"Yes." Beyond said. "Do you have your papers?"

Matt nodded absently, and made a gesture with his shoulder to the backpack he was carrying.

"This is Raito, he'll be joining us." Beyond making a half-gesture with his cone, lest it spill over. "Raito make sure we don't lose Matt."

Then Beyond turned and started walking. We followed, but didn't talk to each other, as much fun as that would be. Matt was too occupied with his game and kept swearing under his breath. There were a couple of times Matt walked right into someone, stop and then turn into another direction like some kind of remote control car. I had to direct him the right way those times until he shrugged off my hand with his shoulder.

Beyond wasn't that far ahead. It was too crowded for him to let us lose sight of him though we could have done without some the detours he'd taken to shops for more candy. When we got to the car we all got into the back and the driver drove off into a different direction then we'd came. That wasn't good.

"We're not going back?" I asked.

"No." Beyond said beside me, I was squished in between both of them."I checked out when we left, you can get new possessions when we get to Wammy's."

"What?!" I said finally losing my temper. I had thought we'd go back to the hotel for the night and I could find someway to escape. "Go back right now!"

"It's too late." He said slyly."I already told room service to throw out anything they find in there though I think they'll keep your money for a tip."

Not good. This was not good. The person who had the Deathnote had to be in London. I couldn't go all the way to Winchester to Wammy's. Why had I been going along with this nonsense all day. I needed to get out of here and unfortunately I was in a speeding car.

"How far is it?" I asked trying to stay calm.

"About an hour and half to two hours from here." Said Beyond looking out the window.

I could see the lump in his jean pocket. The Ruby was there and I could get it easily. I couldn't die just from one little 'ghosting' effect could I? I tapped my feet against the seat and tried to think. The car slowed and the driver turned.

"I think there's an accident ahead. We might be stuck her for a bit." He said leaning back into his seat.

Matt sighed. "There any pop in here?"

I shook my head. Trying to look at Beyond out of my peripheral vision. He was still looking out the window thinking about something. He didn't look like he was paying attention to anything except his sucker. I looked over at Matt, he was preoccupied of course but what I cared about was his car door that was unlocked.

My mind was racing. I would have seconds at least and I still wasn't sure I could get away. No, don't doubt, I had to try. I took a deep breath and went for it.

Before anyone could think, I was able to grab the ruby through Beyond's pocket. He started to turn his head as I reached over Matt and opened released the door. I jumped out of my seat pushing passed Matt who cursed at me when his game boy flew out his hands onto the road. It was a moment where time stopped. I could feel Beyond trying to grab for me, but I slapped away his hand and ran for it.

Racing in between cars, I heard a car door slam behind me and decided jumping between the car hoods would be faster. Every car I jumped on beeped angrily at me. I looked back and Beyond was swiftly catching up to me.

Fuck, I thought.

Options:

-Run to a car not in traffic jam and drive off. No I was too far away and the people inside would kick me out.

-Jump off the bridge into the water that is hopefully deeper than it looks. Drowning was a high possibility.

-Or just surrender. Definitely not.

I got to the edge of the traffic and ran up, I was only a minute away from the top of the bridge and Beyond was a minute behind. Running like my life depended on it I reached the peak of the bridge and jumped. It looked like it was twenty feet down, people were screaming and I felt weightless for two seconds until the rush of falling.

A hand grabbed my sleeve at the last possible moment and there was a sudden pull on my arm.

"Ah!" I yelled and looked up.

Beyond's body was halfway over the bridge, set to dive after me but someone had been quick enough to grab onto him. My sleeve was about to tear but he quickly readjusted his grip to my wrist and squeezed it painfully.

Well that had almost worked, I thought ruefully but then I hadn't thought about how crazy enough Beyond was to jump after me.

Right before more people came to lift us up, Beyond caught my eye and smiled devilishly.

"I knew there was something special about you."


End file.
